Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Arkansas

I was recently in Arkansas. I flew into Little Rock then drove to Hot Springs. In Hot Springs they have historic bath houses. Apparently, historically speaking, it must have been a big deal for people there to bathe. Some of them are historical landmarks. Some of the bath houses have implements to wash every area of your body. Some had elaborate looking equipment that looked like it was right out of a Frankenstein movie. It was scary. I didn't bathe the entire time I was there.

On the way back I had a little time to kill. I visited the Clinton Presidential Library. I spent about two hours there looking all around the building. I didn't see a single book! I was amazed. It's not a library at all. It's a big mobile home raised up on a pedestal filled with Clinton memorabilia. A fitting tribute? I'll let you be the judge.

Also while I was there I ate lunch at a family owned restaurant. They advertised a 100 foot buffet of home style cooking. I ate it.

Mr. Healthy

I never knew it took so much to be healthy. I was at the gym this morning when I noticed there were more people than usual in the lobby area. I soon realized we were hosting a ‘health fair’ event. I decided to investigate. Again, I never knew it took so much to be healthy.

I started out with a chair massage to get relaxed. After that I moved on to the botox stand to take care of the wrinkles in my cheeks, followed by a microderm-abrasion facial. Since my skin now had that newly buffed pinkish shine, I headed to the skin care product stand for some anti-aging lotion. That should work well with the botox. Next stop Mary Kay for some much-needed make-up to cover the now skinless areas from the microderm-abrasion facial.

Now that my back was relaxed and the top two layers of skin were gone from my face, I headed to the shoe stand for some new shoes to keep my back from hurting. Right next door was the jewelry booth where I found some nice things to keep my ego from hurting.

With my new healthy body and new healthy accessories it was time to sign up for my tennis lessons at the tennis center booth. Since I’m now playing tennis, I needed to stop at the insurance booth to make sure I’m covered in case I get hit in the eye or twist an ankle.

After all this, I couldn’t leave without stopping at the photographer’s booth for a portrait of the new healthy me. Almost out the door I noticed the local Walgreens folks had a stand. I dropped off my prescriptions and got my flu shot to make sure I STAY healthy. When the needle stuck in my arm, my back tensed up. Yep, you guessed it – one more massage before heading to the car.

Oh, and by the way, I did spend 45 minutes actually doing exercise while I was there. Just call me Mr. Healthy!